Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some will die poor and alone. -- Shakespeare

This is an email I just got from my mom:

Hey Girl...Please fax a copy of your Allstate Dec page (front page showing car, eff date, name, coverages) to Bonnie at State Farm so they can cancel the State Farm policy. Love you!


Based on my current status as an D+ Adult, this email freaks me out. BIG thanks to mom for giving me a brief explanation of what a dec page is. She knows me so well.

I've been trying to think of the necessary steps I would have to go through to accomplish this task and impress my mother. They are as follows:

1. Dig through a stack of papers in my room deemed "scary papers"
2. Cry when I can't find the requisite "dec page"
3. Call my State Farm agent and ask him to email it to me.
4. Receive reprimand from State Farm agent for not being able to keep track of things like dec pages
5. Cry in the corner for not being able to be an A+ Adult
6. Treat my sorrow by going to the kitchen for a treat
7. Find my dec page in my kitchen cupboard behind my shark-shaped fruit snacks
8. Get in a time machine and go back to 1994, when people used fax machines
9. Go somewhere on campus and look really frowny until someone tells me where I can fax my dec page
10. Find a fax machine
11. Try 843 times to fax the dec page
12. Receive a phone call from State Farm asking me why I sent the wrong page 842 times
13. Cry in the corner
14. Move back in with mom

From independent young woman to emotional heap of incompetence in 14 easy steps. I swear, sometimes I want to get married just so I don't have to worry about doing taxes.

One day. One day I'll be an A+ adult. It just may be when I'm 75.


  1. I have to do our taxes because my husband has never done his and I have done mine since age 18... But this year I might try to talk his dad into it... hmmm

  2. If you get married then they make you get your own car insurance. And cell phones. And health insurance. And kids...

  3. i would say lol. but no one actually believes that you laughed out loud when you say that. therefore, i will just tell you that this was way funny and i am very glad that i found your blog!!! (you should be glad too because it makes us 8% better friends)

  4. Asia, it makes me so happy that you grade yourself as an adult. It makes me feel better about being a D- Adult (you have a real job). By the way, there is a secret fax machine at the info commons desk in the library, and I believe it is cheaper than anywhere else. Just FYI.

  5. Megan,

    That is terrific news. You are great :). Maybe we can help each other raise our grades.


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