Monday, September 12, 2011

Life Plan

Life plan.

Life plan life plan life plan.

I have a college degree.

I have a job that is related to that degree. Ok. That is good news because not everyone can do that.

I pay for all my own stuff. Including a car payment and my phone bill and lots of other bills that I don't like to think about because it makes me feel too old and poor. This means I don't rely on mom for anything (wellllllllll OK sometimes I use her money to put gas in my car).

I want to get married at some point and have some babies that I can buy cute outfits.

Ultimately, I would like to teach high school film/media classes to juniors and seniors. Or English or something. No. Probably the film/media thing.

I don't think I want to be in Provo anymore because I feel like I'm stuck in a vortex of stasis. It's like my feet are stuck to a launching pad. Everything feels temporary. Plus male/female relationships are all kinds of jacked up.

I don't know where to go next or when to go there.

I don't have a lot of money saved up. Well I do, but I'm too scared to spend it on anything because I feel like it should be in a 401K or something.

I'm running away to Africa for 2 weeks.

Sometimes I play Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 to avoid grown up decisions.

I want to watch all of the movies Queen Latifah has been in.

Some days I feel like all options are good. Some days I feel like all options are bad. Well mostly just scary.

What I've decided is this: How my life changes doesn't matter as much as making the choices to cause change. I just need to move in any direction.

What if I move to Connecticut? That was my thought this evening.

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