Monday, November 29, 2010

Shh! Here's all my secrets.


I don't have any.

I'm an open book. A really really open book. Sometimes a bit too open.

Asia: Blah blah! All my thoughts!
Other people: Ummm.... thanks for that.

I've tried to have secrets because sometimes I want to seem mysterious and sexy. Like how Jessica Rabbit hides one eye behind her hair because her life is so mysterious.

Close, eh?


Well I'm just not mysterious and I'll have to come to grips with that. I used to have secrets. I used to be embarrassed about stuff. What happened? I just stopped caring.

So I'm coming clean. The following is a list of things that I used to keep secret from others.

1. Sleeping in my mom's bed.

 When my dad died, I started sleeping in my mom's bed. I don't really know why it started. That was in 1996. This continued for the rest of, well, forever. I never went back to sleeping in my own bed. When we would have family come stay at our house, we would put them in my room. They would apologize for putting me out and I would just say something like, "Oh its no problem!" Little did they know that my bed was completely unoccupied except when company was staying over.

I would still use my room for other things -- playing with Barbies, reading, homework. I still got dressed and ready for the day in my own room. But when it came to sleeping, I was in with mom. For a little while, I tried to be a grown up and sleep in my own bed, but I just didn't like it. Mom was worried this would make it hard for me to sleep once I went to college. It didn't. I was fine.

When my brother's friends would come over and stay late -- like time-to-go-to-bed late -- I would go into my room, put on my jammies, wash my face, then sneak like I was doing reconnaissance work for the CIA over to my mom's room. Or I would make some weird excuse about why I'd be going into my mom's room when I was completely ready for bed.

ASIA: Oh! Well... I'm just headed to ask my mom a pressing question! Yes, despite the late hour, my question is quite pressing. So pressing, in fact, that I may be in there until you leave to go home. At that point, I will proceed to my own bed like a normal child.
Other people: [confused...]

2. Indiana Jones and Back to the Future

I have not seen any of the movies from either of these series. I used to lie about this all the time. Kinda like how I used to lie about having read The Giver, but I eventually just broke down and read it when I was like 18.

Well-read friend: OMG It's like that part in The Giver with the memories and the birthing mothers!!
ASIA: [What the crap? Birthing mothers?? That sounds disturbing.] Totally, friend! Loooove it!

I feel like Indiana Jones and Back to the Future are movies you're supposed to grow up with. If you grew up with them, dandy for you! I did not grow up watching them and putting them on as an adult just doesn't seem appealing to me. I know (more or less) what they are about and I've seen the iconic scenes on TV or Youtube or film classes, but I haven't seen any of them all the way through.

3. Play-Doh

I used to eat Play-Doh. I might still if I got the chance. I didn't eat it like ice cream or anything. It was only tasty in very small quantities. This will explain why the Play-Doh resources of my third grade class depleted so slowly.

4. Hot Dog buns

When I eat a hot dog, not only do I not put anything on it (no ketchup, no relish, no whatever else), I also don't eat the bun. Here's how I see it, the "hot dog" part of a hot dog is delicious enough. I don't want to add any additional flavoring to it and I don't want to dilute the taste by eating a huge piece of bread at the same time. I really like hot dogs. What can I say? I'm a fundamentalist.

This hasn't kept me from getting a bun, though. At most cook-outs I still put a bun on my plate and put the hot dog in it so as to avoid scornful glances from pro-bun people. But then I sit down, eat the hot dog and give the bun to a duck. Or the trash. Or just use it to get another hot dog.

There you have it, world! My dirty laundry out in the air! HAHA!

I've just realized... It may be that I don't have secrets because my life hasn't really taken any super dramatic turns. I've never kissed a boy that was dating another girl. I've never stolen anything or moonlighted as a can-can dancer.

I need to work on that. I'll try to make my life a bit more dramatic and mysterious. Until then... feel free to ask me whatever.

I have no shame.


  1. I like you so much.
    Also, when my dad's out of town I sleep in my mom's bed.
    And we hold hands when we're shopping.
    Carry on.


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