If this is the first time you're reading my blog... this is a bad place to start. For the rest of you, here it is. The final chapter.
My First Kiss:
My oldest brother and I got in my little 2-wheel-drive jeep (I'm from Florida) and headed west.
We arrived in Utah 4 days later and I began my college experience. I lived in a tiny dorm room on the 3rd floor of a large dormitory tower. My bathroom was shared with about 20 other girls. It was a party.
I was meeting new boys and going on crazy adventures. I hiked the Y (worst. hike. ever.). I went to football, soccer and volleyball games. I ate Doritos for breakfast. I turned 18. Life was good. Strange, but good.
Thanksgiving approached. I couldn't afford to go home. To see how my Thanksgiving was, see my former post "Why I'm Scared of Mexican Food". It was bad.
Pretty soon it was time to go home for Christmas. I missed my Mama and was starting to wonder how people survived Utah winters. It was orange-picking season in Florida. I arrived on a beautiful sunny day before Christmas, hugged my Mama and began to tell my family of college life.
Christmas was wonderful, with a few tiny hiccups. I think this was the year our hot water heater decided to break and flood the whole house in a 2-inch-deep puddle. We opened the back door and began to sweep the water out with brooms. Mars and Zac sang pirate songs. Actually I just remembered that this was the year before the water heater incident. So there's a little freebie story for you.
Mars was on his mission in Argentina.
I reconnected with The Four (Ally, Caroline, Clare, Asia) at the Barnes and Noble Starbucks (that was/is the cool place to hang out) and we started talking about plans for New Years Eve. We were going to just have a chill little gathering at my friend Amy's house.
A few days before New Years Eve, I was hanging out with the girls and one of them let something slip. I don't remember the exact story and it was told second-hand anyway. So this is kinda like a game of "telephone" where the end message is nothing like the beginning one... but the essence of the story is this: While away at school, Alex was at a party or something. Someone made a comment to Alex about hooking up with some random girl. He responded with something like, "I haven't been waiting to see Asia for nothing." and abstained from interaction with Random Girl.
When I heard this, my stomach did a back flip. I was nervous and anxious and excited and omg he's been waiting to see me???
The day of New Years Eve, Alex came over. I mean, we were still friends and I hadn't seen him in a long time. This felt different, though. There was something there. A certain electricity. We went on a walk to the end of my street. At the end of the road, I tentatively set my hand in the crook of his elbow. He reached up and took my hand in his. I asked him if he was going to Amy's that evening. He responded that he would be there.
This is what my street looks like.
That night, me and the ladies rolled up to Amy's together. We took a bunch of pictures and lounged around for a little while. There was a good little group of us there including Alex and a few other random people from high school. I was just looking through photos on facebook to try to jog my memory of that night and it turns out there were more people there than I thought.
Alex and I chatted like the friends we were and it seemed like a normal hang-out night. He was probably talking about Star Wars and I was probably laughing at him. Soon it was 11:00pm. Then 11:30pm. Then 11:45pm. It was beginning to feel less and less like a normal hang-out night. Something was going to happen. 4 years of pining and crying and pulling at leg hairs.
Something was finally going to happen.
[insert anticipatory music and maybe that clock-beeping noise from 24]
Alex went to the bathroom...
I started to get suuuuper nervous...
Alex came out of the bathroom...
Alex put his arm around me and held me close.
"New years kiss?"
And there it was. It was quick and small. Modest and shy. But it was a big deal. The previous 4 years of ups and downs were worth it. In that moment, he was mine.
When I got home that night, I crept silently into my mom's room. I nudged her gently to wake her. In the sleepy darkness of our home she whispered "Did you get it?" I smiled. "Yep."
That's the story. That was my first kiss.
I could go on to tell you about how we had a perfect 4-day romance before it was time to once again return to school. Those four days were like living in a dream. It was magic.
I could tell you about how Alex wanted to do a long-distance relationship and I thought that sounded too hard. I could tell you about how we called each other and sent each other CDs from across the country, but I started to become distant after a while. Alex could probably tell you a story about a cold and distant Asia that came to visit the following March. I still feel bad about that. She may have told him she just wanted to be friends.
But none of this matters now. What matters was that perfect moment in the middle of all the messy, complicated, badly-timed, poorly-executed, heart-broken frenzy. It was a moment of clarity. It was a moment of honesty. Love? I don't know. Maybe.
We've had our sporadic friendly contact over the years. Random visits and text messages. I started dating someone. It ended. He started dating someone. Lucky girl. No matter what, though, there will always be a special place in my heart for this boy. You've heard about my expert dating skills (or utter lack thereof) so you could see how something like this could leave a mark.
And indeed it has.
If you were to have Alex tell you about this, it would probably be completely different.
But that's my story.