Friday, October 15, 2010

Pet Peeves.

So I recently discovered some pet peeves I have. I used to think I was a really low maintenance person that was chill as an Alaskan antelope. Turns out I'm not. Lots of things bug me. See below.

1. Whistling

Oh gosh, just stop it. What reasons do people have for needing to whistle? The answer is that there are no reasons.

Quick anecdote: I was on campus today delivering some digi beta tapes to Burbank and I heard some really loud whistling. It was really loud. Almost impressively loud, but I will never be impressed by whistling. I looked around to see who might be forcing everyone who is standing outside in Provo to listen to their little ditty. Surprise! It was my ex-boyfriend. I immediately felt gratitude for the turn of events in my life that led me to not marry this loud whistler.

2. People my same age calling me sweetie or telling me they are proud of me.

Don't tell me you're proud of me if you're my peer. Saying you're proud of someone is like saying "You have made the correct choice, oh ye of lesser experience than I." This is a fine thing to say to your child or grandchild or... yea, that's about it.

If someone who is your same age does something awesome, an appropriate response is, "Way to do that awesome thing!" or "Oh man, show me how to do that awesome thing you did." or "That thing you did should cause you great excitement."

Those are appropriate responses.

Also -- calling me sweetie. Please be 50 or over before you do that (that means you, 23-year-old girl at the Verizon store).

3. Talking when you need to clear your throat.

If someone is speaking to me while they have something phlegm-y in their throat, it makes me want to barf. They could be talking to me about their dying wife's final words of encouragement and I would still want to barf. I probably wouldn't even be able to focus on what they were saying enough to hear that they're talking about their wife's final words, so really you can't call me insensitive.

Clear. Your. Throat.

4. When people think they are the first person to do something when they really are not.

Attention everyone: everyone can do the Gollum voice from Lord of the Rings. Really. Everyone. You are not the first. You are not the only. Turns out all you have to do is close your throat and make your voice sound gross. Stop doing it, or at least stop thinking you were the first one to do it.

Attention again: upon first hearing the word "euthanasia", everyone thought it was "Youth in Asia". Everyone thought this because, without seeing it written down, it sounds mighty similar to (or, if you'd rather, exactly like) "Youth in Asia". This is not an embarrassing thing nor is it a funny thing. Everyone does it.

One more thing everyone does: staying up really late sometimes. I've often witnessed the conversation where people try to one-up one another with their staying-up-late stories. It is not interesting unless you are a vampire and have, in fact, never slept. You would always win the one-up conversations. Way to be.

5. I feel like I need a 5th thing to be nit-picky about... but can't think of one.

I like things to end in nice round numbers. That can count as a pet peeve-y thing, right?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Total Pageviews