Friday, October 29, 2010

My Husband, Wikipedia

Dear Wikipedia,

I think we should get married. Here's why. You are pretty much my favorite thing. Today I looked up Rabbit-Proof Fence, Katy Perry, and The Infinite Monkey Theorem (all I had to type in was "monkey typewriter" and you knew what I meant. True love). Because of random knowledge about things like this, I can impress boys and win free bowling passes (I won a pass yesterday because I knew who did the voice of Sally in Nightmare Before Christmas [Catherine O'Hara, duh.]).

But maybe I shouldn't want to impress boys if we're married. Dear Wikipedia, I'm sorry if I turn out to be a sucky wife because I use your knowledge to impress boys. BUT! I promise I will use my free bowling passes to go on dates with you.

Some people think you are not trustworthy and your user-run database can be biased or messy. But I know you better than that. I know that the Encyclopedia Britannica WISHES they knew as much about Jonathan Freeman as you do (the voice of Jafar in Aladdin). Or left-handedness (we have had 6 left-handed US presidents). Or the Taiwan Taoyuan International Airport. Nice try, Britannica.

I even had to look up how to spell "Britannica" on Wikipedia. Suck on that!

I won another bowling pass because I knew that Gnarls Barkley's music video for his song "Crazy" is made up entirely of a graphic based on the Rorschach Inkblot Test. (Thanks for helping me spell Rorschach, Wikipedia. You're such a pal!) This trivia knowledge didn't come from you, though, Wikipedia. It came from your close cousin, YouTube. And my mom's random love of this song. Thanks, Mom and YouTube. You can come hang out with me and Wikipedia after our wedding.

Wikipedia, life would be grand with you by my side. I just Wikipedia-ed (verb!) "Marriage" and found a picture of the two of us. It was meant to be.




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