Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Belle is the BEST

So I didn't post for a long time. I feel bad about that, but the only reason I didn't post was because I couldn't think of anything entertaining to write about.

I tried to post about things like Britney Spears and pizza, but (despite the engaging subject matter) my posts fell flat. Boring. Dumb.

BUT! Just yesterday I had a whole slew of fantastic blog ideas. These should last for a little while.

Without further ado --

Why Belle is the Foxiest

I've got big opinions on Belle. She is perfect. I'm talking about Beauty and the Beast Belle. "This Provencal Life" Belle. Blue dress, white apron Belle. My idol in life.


This all started a few years ago when I saw the Branjelina movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith. The movie responsible for the ending of Brannifer or Braniston or Jennipitt or Jennibrad Anistpitt.


The movie is fun and cute, filled with attractive people that make things explode. Excellent.

In this movie, Angelina Jolie (Mrs. Smith) isn't particularly feminine. She's not manly (like... she doesn't have armpit hair and a mullet), she just represents a very masculine perspective on what it is to be a "strong woman". At least that's what I think. My two cents. Clink! Clink! (those were pennies)

None of this really bothered me, though. She was still a strong female character who got things done. Whatev. There was one line, though, that really rubbed me the wrong way. At one point, Mr and Mrs are in their basement choosing their artillery to go combat their persuers. Brad gets a big gun. Angelina gets a small gun. She looks at him and says, "Why to I get the girl gun?"

Seriously, Angelina? Her comment could be taken two ways. Either the gun was small and wimpy so she nicknamed it the "girl gun" or it was a gun more often used by women and she didn't want to identify herself with that demographic.

Either way, it made me want to punch her face. No... then I'm no better than her and her "girl gun". I wanted to... what's a more feminine alternative? I wanted to... give her a dirty look. Cry in the corner? Am I doing more damage than good? Maybeeeeee.

Anyway... that's when I decided to have some feminist opinions.  But I didn't burn my bra just yet. I wanted to identify why Mrs. Smith bugged me. I started to think about a bunch of different women and how they're portrayed in the media. Was there a good example?

Then it dawned on me.

A pillar of light.

The pot of gold at the end of the skanky rainbow.


Belle is the perfect example of a strong heroin. heroine? One of them is a drug. She's the one that is not a drug. A female hero.

HeroinE. Wikipedia says she's a heroine.

Anyway. She's totally strong and brave and kicks A, but she's also vulnerable and kind and nurturing. And she doesn't apologize for it. Her physical strength is no match for Gaston or The Beast, but she recognizes that her contribution to the universe is found elsewhere. She doesn't really have sex appeal or combat skills. She's got other things going for her.

My favorite part of the movie is this:

Belle is scared away by The Beast's surly demeanor and goes into the woods. She's attacked by wolves. The Beast saves her. But then?? She saves him right back. The scene after this is great as well because Belle nurses him back to health. She tends to his wounds. And she sasses him. Love it.

She's a strong female protagonist. But strong in ways that are often overlooked. Strong in ways that are sometimes considered weak or girly. Well you know what?? There's nothin' wrong with being girly! My friend Belle taught me that.

And let's not forget that it's Belle's love and strength and influence on The Beast that save the whole story.

So anyway... that's why Belle is my idol in life. She's just awesome. I don't mean to say that Angelina is the worst because I kinda like her and her foxy boyfriend and her foreign kids. But when you compare her to Belle? Really when you compare anyone to Belle....

Belle wins.

This gives me hope in life! Because no... I'm not very strong and no... I'm not very good at basketball and no... I couldn't shoot a target to save my life. Buuuuuuuut I'm funny-ish. And I like people. And I can dance pretty good. And I'm learning how to play the guitar.

Well... one of these days I'll find my contribution to the universe. And it'll be GOOD.


  1. Agreed 100%. Belle is the best of them all hands down.

  2. You summed it up beautifully. Belle is the best. In my opinion, you are like Belle.

  3. See, you say you can dance, but you say nothing about singing in this. So I win lasts nights conversation.

  4. Let me tell you something about guns.... the heavier they are, the less awesome I am at shooting them. Therefore, I would choose the lighter girl gun. Because in the end, a bullet comes out. Its not like a girl gun shoots cotton balls and daisies.


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