Ears: Pwned

When I was little, my mom really wanted me to pierce my ears. She thought it would just be so pretty and great. I didn't want to. We were the opposite of most mother-daughter dynamics. Some of my friends weren't allowed to get their ears pierced until they were 12. And they would itch for the day they could go into Claire's and pick out their first earrings.

Not me. Mom would beg every time we went to the mall. When I was nine, I eventually broke down and let her take me to Claire's.

Here's the thing about getting your ears pierced... people tell you it doesn't hurt that bad. They tell you, despite the obvious horror of the piercing gun, that it's a walk in the park.

They lie. It hurts like a mofo.

Real real bad. The trouble is, however, that once you've realized how much it hurts to get your first ear pierced, you have nothing to do but face the same thing again on the other side of your head. It's dreadful.

So the ears were pierced (imagine lots of crying). It ended up being a good decision because I really liked wearing pretty earrings.

However, as is the case with many young girls with their ears pierced, my ears got infected occasionally. I had to take the earrings out and tend to my wounds until they were ok to receive earrings again. One time I had my earrings out for too long, though and when I tried to put my earrings back in, only one would go through.

This didn't stop me from wearing pretty earrings, though... Like a young pirate, I wore one earring for about a year until my mom convinced me that it looked kinda dumb. Thanks for looking out, mom :).

So I let the other hole close up and didn't wear earrings anymore.

Flash forward.

When I was in middle school, my brother got me a beautiful pair of clip-on earrings. I wore these occasionally and really liked them.

Flash forward again.

It's time for my junior prom and I'm looking at the beautiful clip-ons from my brother. They had done good things for me. They were with me through grand times. But when I was 16, I looked at those suckers and they told me that I needed to try real earrings again. They inspired me to re-pierce my ears.

I was feeling impatient, though and wanted them pierced right then. So I decided to see if I could force earrings through my old holes. I went through my old earrings and picked some that looked appealing and gave it a try. Partial success! I was able to get an earring through the ear that I had kept open for a year longer than I should have. I had one earring in! How hard could the other one be?

Well this one was closed... completely. After a few painful tries, I quickly discovered that I would have to re-pierce the ear. I had seen The Parent Trap and decided that it couldn't be that hard. I found a safety pin and decided that it could probably do the trick. I think I wiped it off on a paper towel or something. This was my version of sterilization.

I took a deep breath and stuck it through my ear. I took another deep breath and pulled it out. I then grabbed an earring and tried to put it in the hole I had just created.

The hole could not be found... had it healed that quickly? Am I just an idiot? It was painful trying to find a hole that no longer existed so I decided to try piercing it again. With two more deep breaths, I stuck the safety pin back in my ear and pulled it out again.

Again. No luck in fitting an earring through. Had The Parent Trap lied to me?? Lindsay Lohan! Darn you!

The only way I was ever going to get an earring through my ear was to pierce my ear with an earring. This is how they do it at Claire's, after all. Except Claire's has special earrings that are really pointy and sharp so that they go through easily. I had no such thing (I had lost the ones they pierced my ears with, I guess).

So I began the painful process of forcing a dull earring through my (now pretty battered) earlobe. I kept icing it, which helped with the pain, but it was pretty awful.

But I was determined!

When I had made it about half way through my ear, my brother came to get me to go to a party we were invited to. So I continued with my ear-piercing in the car. It was during the commute that I actually got the earring fully through. It felt like I had climbed a mountain. I was so proud.

Do I recommend this? Heck no. But I feel pretty hard core that I did it. They're still pierced and I still get to wear pretty earrings all the time.

Ears: pwned.