The Last 1.5 Years, Part III

It was December 30, 2011 when we pulled into my mom's driveway. The timing of this move was only semi-coincidental. I knew my life was about to change in some pretty drastic ways (I had already moved across the country back into my mom's house) and I relished that the new year would mean so many new beginnings.

The actual countdown to midnight was spent at the Warner's house, where all good parties take place. We ate pizza and sang karaoke (two of my very most favorite things) into 2012. Another part of the evening was spent writing down new years resolutions and posting them on a cabinet so they wouldn't be forgotten. Some were health related and some were career related. Some of the Warner children had goals related to farts or something. Either way, it was clear that 2012 would be full of new experiences and fulfilling dreams! Self Discovery 2012!

[Cue dramatic montage music.]

One of the first things I wanted to do in 2012 was lose weight. I didn't want to dabble in different diets and exercise programs, I wanted RESULTS. So I went into a weight loss clinic about a mile from my house and got a consultation. By the end of our meeting, I had a bag full of vitamins, a list of foods I was allowed to eat and about $800 less in my bank account.

The point of the diet was to eat absolutely no fat and take pills with a pregnancy hormone in them to help get rid of body fat. Perhaps sketchy science, but I was monitored every week by a nurse so don't judge me por favor.

The first time I went to Walmart with my mom to buy groceries off my new "approved foods" list, I think I cried. It was really hitting me that I was going to have to make some pretty tough changes. Some of my very best friends were missing from the list. Cheese? Nope. Peanut butter? Fat chance. Mini powdered donuts? Nowhere to be found as part of my new diet. I wasn't even allowed to eat bananas or carrots. My mom had to console me as we filled the cart with spinach, green beans, chicken breast and... yea, that's about it. The list had other things on it, but it just made me cry more to think about eating things like tofu and cauliflour. "You can do this, honey," my mom said as I tearfully handed the very confused Walmart cashier my debit card. "You like chicken." She said.

So basically for 3 months straight, here's what I ate every single day:

Breakfast: apple
Lunch: Soy beans and weird soup
Dinner: Chicken breast and green beans

Literally... every. single. day.

I was eating 750 calories per day and was told not to exercise (because I wasn't consuming enough calories). Slowly, however, I started sneaking other, more delicious foods into my diet. Fat free cheese? Yes, please! Mint chocoloate chip ice cream? Just a spoonful at midnight when everyone is asleep. After three months, I had lost 25 pounds, which was shy of my 35 pound goal, but I went from a size 10-12 to a 6 and everyone I saw basically told me I looked like a super model. Plus I really missed food.

My next stop of the journey of Self Discovery 2012 was employment. Remember all those amazing phone interviews with the PGA Tour?

Yeah, well...